Someone is blackmailing my child with a photo: what to do now

What should I say to my child first?#

“I’m glad you told me. It’s not your fault. We’ll sort this out together.”

This matters more than any question. Blackmailers rely on shame and fear — threats like “I’ll ruin your life” stop children from seeking help (Thorn & NCMEC, 2024). The blame always lies with the blackmailer, never with the child (NCMEC; IWF).

Don’t press for details, don’t tell them off (“why did you send it?”), and don’t take their phone away as a punishment (UK Safer Internet Centre). Your child needs to know they did the right thing by coming to you.

If your child says they want to hurt themselves, or you’re worried about their safety, call emergency services straight away (999 or 112 in the UK and Ireland, 911 in the US).

What should I do in the next hour?#

1. Don’t pay. Payment rarely ends the blackmail (NCMEC). In an analysis of US reports, 27% of those who paid received further demands (Thorn & NCMEC, 2024).
2. Don’t send anything more — no photos, no money, no codes.
3. End contact and block the account. Don’t reply, negotiate or threaten.
4. Don’t delete messages or the profile. Police and platforms need them (CEOP Education; NCMEC).
5. Note down what you can — without any intimate images: the account name and link, dates and times, the wording of the threats, and where they wanted money sent.
6. Report it (see below for your country).

How do I keep evidence without breaking the law?#

Never download, copy, save or forward an intimate image of a child — not as a parent, and not “as evidence”. UK guidance for schools states plainly that doing so is illegal (UKCIS, 2024). Leave the original conversation as it is and write down the account details.

Gathering evidence must never delay getting help. If you’re unsure what to keep, leave everything as it is and call the police or a helpline.

Where do I report it?#

UK

• CEOP (ceop.police.uk) — report online sexual abuse and blackmail of a child.
• Police — 999 in an emergency, 101 otherwise.
• Report Remove — for under-18s, run by Childline and the IWF to help get images removed; your child will need a Childline account.
• NSPCC helpline 0808 800 5000 — advice for adults worried about a child.

Ireland

• Childline 1800 66 66 66 — support for children and young people.
• Gardaí — 999 or 112.
• Take It Down (see below) to limit the image spreading.

US

• NCMEC CyberTipline — report.cybertip.org.
• 911 in an emergency, or your local police.
• Take It Down (see below).

Elsewhere

• Your local police (112 across the EU).
• Take It Down (see below), plus your national child helpline.

Can the photo be taken off the internet?#

Take It Down (takeitdown.ncmec.org) works worldwide and anonymously: a digital fingerprint (a “hash”) is created on your device, and the image itself never leaves it. Participating platforms use the fingerprint to limit sharing. No one can promise complete removal from the internet — so don’t download or search for the image yourself.

What if my child has already paid or sent more?#

They still deserve help — after sending, after paying. It isn’t too late to report. The steps are the same: no more payments, nothing more sent, nothing deleted, report it.

Blocking alone isn’t enough. In a US survey, around half of children who blocked someone were contacted again afterwards (Thorn & Benenson Strategy Group, 2021). That’s why an adult needs to know, and why the blackmailer shouldn’t get a reply from a new account either.

Many children tell no one. In a US study of 572 young victims, half hadn’t told anyone (Wolak et al., 2018). If your child told you, that took courage — and it deserves recognition.

How can I support my child over the next few days?#

Stay close and don’t go back over what they “should” have done. Let them know they can talk to you any time, even if the blackmailer gets in touch again. If they’re still struggling, speak to a child psychologist or a helpline.